Wipfagyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wipfagyak created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfagyak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wipfagyak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wipfagyak's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Wipfagyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Wipfagyak on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about gulls.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never eat garlic.