Gofwikbell is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered swan.

Gofwikbell created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofwikbell, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofwikbell, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gofwikbell's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gofwikbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing three carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Worship no other gods but Gofwikbell.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.