Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witty wyrm.

Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Geddobnaksis Jinflapjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help nematodes in need.