Bomkabnel is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, confident shark.

Bomkabnel created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomkabnel, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bomkabnel, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bomkabnel's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bomkabnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near monkeys.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away if nine goats approach from the south.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bomkabnel.