Fetloopbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, contented clam.

Fetloopbut created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetloopbut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fetloopbut, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fetloopbut's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fetloopbut's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Erect three gold sculptures of Fetloopbut on top of important buildings.

5. Always help sick doves.