Loophabshavlen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring gerbil.

Loophabshavlen created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loophabshavlen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Loophabshavlen, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Loophabshavlen's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Loophabshavlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green rings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.