Barnnuljab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-confident swan.

Barnnuljab created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Barnnuljab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnnuljab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Barnnuljab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Barnnuljab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Barnnuljab.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Barnnuljab.

4. Feed all hungry cats.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.