Yartifsab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, selfish dog.

Yartifsab created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartifsab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartifsab, he will turn you into a tree.

Yartifsab's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yartifsab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never mix peas with ash.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Run away from blue aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Never hurt snails.