Parkdabwadjin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane weasel.

Parkdabwadjin created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdabwadjin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Parkdabwadjin, he will turn you into a snail.

Parkdabwadjin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Parkdabwadjin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkdabwadjin.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

5. Do not make images of living things.