Yimcuddab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humorless dove.

Yimcuddab created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimcuddab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yimcuddab, he will cry a lot.

Yimcuddab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yimcuddab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near bats while wearing indigo corsets and balancing nine titanium spheres on your head.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.