Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tranquil beaver.

Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan created the Sunflower Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Stannutbassad Madnullarf Ontlabvan on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never feed wheat to nematodes while wearing blue tights.