Wikdutwat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking aardvark.

Wikdutwat created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikdutwat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikdutwat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Wikdutwat's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Wikdutwat's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always help rats.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wikdutwat.