Hashundit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, loving turtle.

Hashundit created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hashundit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hashundit, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hashundit's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hashundit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hashundit on top of all buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not sit in public.