Latcunfar is a god.

He takes the form of a large, thoughtless hydra.

Latcunfar created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Latcunfar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Latcunfar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Latcunfar's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Latcunfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

2. Hide from brown monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never mark doors with blue.

4. Do not wear hats marked with turquoise.

5. Never remain prostrate at dawn.