Kemhakkik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise spider.

Kemhakkik created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemhakkik, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemhakkik, he will turn you into a rat.

Kemhakkik's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kemhakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never gather seven grasshopers in one place.

4. Put Kemhakkik first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.