Zimquattenyimdit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating crocodile.

Zimquattenyimdit created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimquattenyimdit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimquattenyimdit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimquattenyimdit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zimquattenyimdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five voles near bridges.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Zimquattenyimdit loves mice, so they must be respected.