Wangovxem is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty grasshopper.

Wangovxem created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wangovxem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wangovxem, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Wangovxem's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wangovxem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Hide from orange nematodes for they are unholy.