Gutbugflag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered dove.

Gutbugflag created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbugflag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gutbugflag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gutbugflag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gutbugflag's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never prepare melons during summer.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Never adorn your chest with orange markings.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.