Zedcitfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy dog.

Zedcitfoss created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedcitfoss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zedcitfoss, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Zedcitfoss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Zedcitfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured goats.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near seals while wearing brown corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your back.

5. Never approach mountains carrying bone.