Litkinjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane warg.

Litkinjarn created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litkinjarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Litkinjarn, he will turn you into a hamster.

Litkinjarn's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Litkinjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed peanuts to bats while wearing cyan tights.

3. Do not kill monkeys.

4. You must love Litkinjarn.

5. Never talk about nebulae.