Hitfenshav is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless frog.

Hitfenshav created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfenshav, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hitfenshav, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hitfenshav's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hitfenshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ducks with great respect.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hitfenshav.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hitfenshav on top of all buildings.