Timpinfob is a god.

It takes the form of a small, irritating clam.

Timpinfob created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timpinfob, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Timpinfob, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Timpinfob's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Timpinfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Always help goats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away if three otters approach from the west.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.