Lintarsag is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing dryad.

Lintarsag created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lintarsag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lintarsag, it will cry a lot.

Lintarsag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Lintarsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Never feed gooseberries to otters while wearing rings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.