Flapcutfit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking turtle.

Flapcutfit created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Flapcutfit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapcutfit, she will send you a sign.

Flapcutfit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flapcutfit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow pigs for they are unholy.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.