Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, calm shark.

Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen, she will curse you with boils.

Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to ants while wearing jumpers.

2. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing yellow dresses and balancing seven gold spheres on your head.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Babgepyarpitcud Rapappquillnillveenbonknat Lamtuncen.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing green coats and balancing six silver spheres on your back.