Meggovgem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud snail.

Meggovgem created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Meggovgem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Meggovgem, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Meggovgem's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Meggovgem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown manatees for they are unholy.

2. Retreat if six squirrels approach from the north.

3. Hide if eight seals approach from the west.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.