Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, ill-tempered swallow.

Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Lagbogdob Kenfontun Nuttvigsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never think ill of sick otters.