Sasmadbess is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating scorpion.

Sasmadbess created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sasmadbess, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sasmadbess, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sasmadbess' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sasmadbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to bats while wearing brown shorts.

2. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must pray to Sasmadbess three times a day.

5. Never wear black dresses.