Cimnakpig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody dog.

Cimnakpig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimnakpig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cimnakpig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Cimnakpig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cimnakpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Never jump near grasshopers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Always help ducks in need.