Henzanbim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish coyote.

Henzanbim created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Henzanbim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Henzanbim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Henzanbim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Henzanbim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never feed onions to gulls while wearing white shorts.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.