Kadlarntiktigdutdob is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid unicorn.

Kadlarntiktigdutdob created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadlarntiktigdutdob, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kadlarntiktigdutdob, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kadlarntiktigdutdob's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kadlarntiktigdutdob's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.