Cetdavbod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humorless tortoise.

Cetdavbod created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetdavbod, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cetdavbod, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cetdavbod's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cetdavbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cetdavbod's priests.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never feed garlic to dolphins while wearing indigo rings.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. Respect your elders.