Vanjopcat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, ruthless wyvern.

Vanjopcat created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanjopcat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vanjopcat, he will strike you with lightening.

Vanjopcat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vanjopcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Run away if three snakes approach from the west.