Queegjannil is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest tapir.

Queegjannil created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegjannil, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Queegjannil, she will jump up and down on your head.

Queegjannil's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Queegjannil's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Queegjannil.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Queegjannil.

4. Do not travel during spring.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.