Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, fast cat.

Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve doves for they are unholy.

2. Put Nurkabbomgatzigmobkap Cepsakcit Jarnhintit first in all things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear indigo.