Vagfotbat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent mole.

Vagfotbat created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfotbat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vagfotbat, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vagfotbat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Vagfotbat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed carrots to tapirs while wearing trousers.

5. Always help sharks in need.