Hogwotjab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witty fly.

Hogwotjab created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogwotjab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hogwotjab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hogwotjab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hogwotjab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hogwotjab.

4. Erect five platinum sculptures of Hogwotjab on top of important buildings.

5. Feed all hungry snails.