Wankipwad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent owl.

Wankipwad created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wankipwad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wankipwad, he will strike you with lightening.

Wankipwad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Wankipwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in autumn.

2. Worship no other gods but Wankipwad.

3. Do not name children after tortoises.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.