Pigfidkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent raccoon.

Pigfidkin created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigfidkin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Pigfidkin, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pigfidkin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Pigfidkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Pigfidkin loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat parsnips.