Loopfudham is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, smart tortoise.

Loopfudham created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopfudham, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loopfudham, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Loopfudham's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Loopfudham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.