Cudcatsag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless seal.

Cudcatsag created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudcatsag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cudcatsag, it will turn you into a snail.

Cudcatsag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cudcatsag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must pray to Cudcatsag eight times a day.