Haploopominnab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, strong cat.

Haploopominnab created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Haploopominnab, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haploopominnab, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Haploopominnab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Haploopominnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never eat spinach.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Fast once a month.