Cipfuttim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unthinking eagle.

Cipfuttim created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipfuttim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cipfuttim, it will think nothing of it.

Cipfuttim's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cipfuttim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Cipfuttim loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Cipfuttim loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.