Wannadjap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome hyena.

Wannadjap created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wannadjap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wannadjap, he will make you grow a tail.

Wannadjap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wannadjap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Wannadjap.

2. Hide from red eagles for they are unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if three bats approach from the north.