Yatvonkgoddod is a god.

It takes the form of a large, quiet spider.

Yatvonkgoddod created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatvonkgoddod, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yatvonkgoddod, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yatvonkgoddod's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yatvonkgoddod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Yatvonkgoddod loves mice, so they must be honoured.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.