Zotzanjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful fox.

Zotzanjan created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zotzanjan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zotzanjan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zotzanjan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zotzanjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Hide if five otters approach from the west.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not commit murder.