Zedjanfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive bear.

Zedjanfeb created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedjanfeb, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zedjanfeb, it will cry a lot.

Zedjanfeb's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Zedjanfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.