Danhoggig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid zebra.

Danhoggig created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danhoggig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Danhoggig, he will cry a lot.

Danhoggig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Danhoggig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Hide from turquoise hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick foxes.