Hasbastbemnur is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent eagle.

Hasbastbemnur created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbastbemnur, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hasbastbemnur, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hasbastbemnur's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hasbastbemnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with blue.

2. Never gather nine sharks near walls.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

5. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.