Xemgubtik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, clever gnu.

Xemgubtik created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemgubtik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemgubtik, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Xemgubtik's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Xemgubtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never point your legs toward the north during prayer.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.