Tomtanfon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, quiet turtle.

Tomtanfon created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomtanfon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tomtanfon, it will not invite you to parties.

Tomtanfon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tomtanfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tomtanfon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tomtanfon.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.