Lagmatpit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, wise dog.

Lagmatpit created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagmatpit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lagmatpit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lagmatpit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Lagmatpit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not eat melons.