Ligsawstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unjust yak.

Ligsawstaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligsawstaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ligsawstaf, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ligsawstaf's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Ligsawstaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Ligsawstaf eight times a day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near monkeys while wearing brown skirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always wear red.