Badruttcib is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, confident dugong.

Badruttcib created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badruttcib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Badruttcib, he will turn you into a hamster.

Badruttcib's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Badruttcib's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed pineapples to snakes while wearing turquoise shorts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always help birds in need.